It never starts with words. It starts with silence...Not with a fight, not with a reason — but slowly, quietly.
A delayed reply… a shorter conversation… a subtle shift in tone.
Messages stop. ..
Calls reduce.
Private conversations pause
Tags fade away.
And that’s when the whispers begin:
They’re drifting…
They will leave.'
But this fear isn’t new. It’s been my silent companion for years.
I even wrote a thread once, trying to untangle it, trying to understand why it held me so tightly.
Click here What -if
I’ve always craved connection. But hidden beneath that craving was a fear — a fear that people would leave once they truly saw me.
At first, I didn’t recognize it as fear of abandonment.
I told myself I just cared too much. But in truth, it was fear disguised as love.
Every time someone got close, I found myself slipping into patterns:
Over-apologizing for small things.
Doubting their silence.
Reading between lines that didn’t exist.
Constantly asking, “Are we okay?” or trying to fix things that were never broken — just to feel safe.
But in doing so, those silent echoes in my mind became the loud noise that slowly pushed people away.
My need for reassurance became too heavy for them to carry.
And when they eventually distanced themselves, it felt like the confirmation of my worst fear:
“See? They left. I knew they would.”
But the painful truth was — I had a hand in that outcome.
My fear became the driver, leading me straight toward what I wanted to avoid.
That’s the heartbreak of a self-fulfilling prophecy, isn’t it?
We end up proving ourselves right in all the wrong ways.
It took losing important connections for me to sit with this pattern and face it honestly.
I asked myself the tough questions:
Why did I believe I had to earn love by overthinking, over-giving, and over-apologizing?
Why did I treat silence like rejection?
Slowly, I began to understand:
People don’t leave because we aren’t enough.
They leave if they want to — when they feel overwhelmed, when it no longer aligns with their path, or simply because that’s their choice.
And none of that defines my worth.
Now, when that old fear starts whispering again, I pause.
I remind myself: I am safe.
I don’t have to prove my value; I just have to be me.
If someone chooses to stay, it’s beautiful.
If they choose to leave, I let them — because clinging never stops anyone who’s meant to go....
The hardest lesson I’ve learned is this:
Fear of abandonment doesn’t protect you — it traps you.
But trust… trust in yourself, in who you are, and in the natural rhythm of relationships — that’s what finally sets you free!
Cheers!!
Sira ji,
I donn know what made u write this, 'mnt aware of what’s going through yr mind, siru. But lemmee tell ya one more thing...didn’t the same thing happen between us? Yes, it did. I always cherished yr calls, quite a few times tho. A go to person- say. Coz u r not that sheepish lad who wags their tail in vain n not an immature kind who acts without thinking twice... Still, we lost it, in some way we did. It hurts, even if you deny it. Wait, wait... I know this isn’t a private convo to say these silly things, lol. But it’s all about the mind, ryt? It changes faster than a chameleon changes its color. Same thing happened with someone else, xx. I don’t need them wasting their time on a girl who’s young, inexperienced in life stuff, and not that wise, lol. Not a sarcasm in *any* way.
First, it’s about self-respect, then respect for the other person, and then comes the sugar coating. A 20 yard long paras, or some gifs is just a public display. It's not the true affection is meant to be. Keeping words, understanding the other one's feeling... That's all Abt a relationship is! Yup, perhaps, some needs the feelings to be expressed, but their is a clear difference bw a genuine word n a word Outta formality.. I remember a time when you said that people call you akka, not because they mean it, but just for the sake of it
It's not always the opp party’s decision to leave u. Disconnecting from all those memories u made togther is not easy for both (until n unless they were genuine). Every relationship takes a turn yuk, whether it’s a friendship ya love. It’s quite natural. Sometimes, leaving a relationship is the best thing for both people. It’s not like we’re tryna break the bond. It’s not that we have completely changed either.
Every moment n every incident, leaves an impression. Ofcourse it do. My truths might be someone else’s false. ’ll have my own reasons, even if the other party donn understand them.
No one is that oxygen without which ya can't thrive. Life is a pencil stroke, it goes erased. Slowly, yet it does. In my story 'll be the hero, but not the same in someone else's.
Huggies.
Laddoo
