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Purana "Anchal", Nya Jism

Anchal23

Anchal23

Novice Sprinter
Chalte Chalte dunia mai ak wo pal aa gaya
Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya...
Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai
Andaja nhi hai wo aesa hoga, Par ye to bas shruwat hai...
Inn sabse bekhabar, maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia
Ak dil aur mila khelne ke liye, ye soch kr usne bhi ikraar kar dia...
Maine us'se jo bhi pucha, usne jhootha jwab dia
Aankh moond kar maine , uski baaton par aitbaar kia...
Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai, Phone maanga to nhi dia
Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia...
Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia
Samajh naa paayi uski soch, hmesha usko maine maaf kia...
Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi
Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi...
Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya,
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....!!!
 
Anchal23 said:
Chalte Chalte dunia mai ak wo pal aa gaya
Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya...
Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai
Andaja nhi hai wo aesa hoga, Par ye to bas shruwat hai...
Inn sabse bekhabar, maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia
Ak dil aur mila khelne ke liye, ye soch kr usne bhi ikraar kar dia...
Maine us'se jo bhi pucha, usne jhootha jwab dia
Aankh moond kar maine , uski baaton par aitbaar kia...
Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai, Phone maanga to nhi dia
Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia...
Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia
Samajh naa paayi uski soch, hmesha usko maine maaf kia...
Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi
Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi...
Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya,
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....!!!
Click to expand...
Chalte chalte rasta badal gaya,
Jisme tha dil, woh sambhal gaya।
Jhooth ke dhaage se bandha tha rishta,
Sach samjha toh dil bhi pighal gaya।

"Anchal" hui purani, naye khwab saja liye,
Jo chhod gaya, uske bina zindagi saja liye
 
Anchal23 said:
Chalte Chalte dunia mai ak wo pal aa gaya
Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya...
Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai
Andaja nhi hai wo aesa hoga, Par ye to bas shruwat hai...
Inn sabse bekhabar, maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia
Ak dil aur mila khelne ke liye, ye soch kr usne bhi ikraar kar dia...
Maine us'se jo bhi pucha, usne jhootha jwab dia
Aankh moond kar maine , uski baaton par aitbaar kia...
Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai, Phone maanga to nhi dia
Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia...
Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia
Samajh naa paayi uski soch, hmesha usko maine maaf kia...
Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi
Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi...
Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya,
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....!!!
Click to expand...
Aapki shayari dard aur jazbaat ki ek aisi kahani hai jo ek tarah se dil ko choo jati hai aur doosri tarah se sochne par majboor karti hai. Yeh kavita ek safar hai – mohabbat se lekar dhokhe tak, aitbaar se lekar toot kar bikharne tak. Chaliye, iske har pehlu par thoda aur roshni dalte hain:

1. "Chalte Chalte duniya mai ak wo pal aa gaya, Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya..."
Yeh shuruat mohabbat ki pehli roshni dikhati hai – woh pehla ehsaas, jo dil ke kone mein ek naye sapne ki jagah banata hai. Ismein ek masoomiyat aur ek jazba hai jo insani jazbaat ko achhi tarah bayaan karta hai.


2. "Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai"
Yahan se mohabbat ek uljhan mein dalti hai. Pata hote hue bhi ki yeh rishte ka ek tarah se galat mod hai, dil fir bhi kheenchta chala jaata hai.
 
3. "Maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia... wo bhi ikraar kar dia"
Is jagah ek umeed hai, ek chhoti si khushi jo mohabbat mein milti hai. Lekin iska asli matlab dhoka aur khel hai – jo agle panktiyon mein samajh mein aata hai.


4. "Aankh moond kar maine, uski baaton par aitbaar kia..."
Mohabbat mein hum aksar sach aur jhooth ke darmiyan farq nahi kar pate. Aapka dil uss vyakti par itna bharosa kar baitha ki har baat sach lagne lagi, chahe wo jhooth hi kyun na ho.


5. "Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai... Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia..."
Yeh pankti insani jazbaat ka ek gehra roop dikhati hai – dard ke baawjood maafi dena. Shayad ismein apni mohabbat ke liye ek ummeed thi, ki shayad kuch badal jaye.@Anchal23
 
6. "Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia..."
Yahan se mohabbat ab ek dukh ban gayi. Aatm-samman par sawaal uthane ka matlab yeh hai ki rishte mein izzat aur barabari nahi thi. Fir bhi maaf karte jaana ek aur gehri chhavi hai ki aapki mohabbat kitni gehri thi.


7. "Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi, Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi..."
Yeh pankti apne aap par ki gayi ek soojh-boojh ki baat hai. Hum aksar apni mohabbat mein itne kho jaate hain ki samajh nahi pate ki saamne wala kya soch raha hai.


8. "Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya, 'Anchal' ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya..."
Yeh pankti ek dhokhe ka aakhri mod hai, jahan uski duniya badal gayi, aur aap us dukh mein akeli chhod di gayi. "Anchal" ka yah symbolism ek adhuri kahani ka pratik hai.@Anchal23
 
Is shayari mein aapne mohabbat ke har pehlu – shuruat ki khushi, uljhan, aitbaar, dard, aur judaai – ko bayaan kiya hai. Ye alfaaz dil se nikle hain aur ismein ek gehri sachchai hai.

Agar aap is kavita ko aur gehri banane ya is par aur likhne ka soch rahi hain, to kya mai kuch sujhav de sakta hoon?@Anchal
 
Lion_Hearted said:
Is shayari mein aapne mohabbat ke har pehlu – shuruat ki khushi, uljhan, aitbaar, dard, aur judaai – ko bayaan kiya hai. Ye alfaaz dil se nikle hain aur ismein ek gehri sachchai hai.

Agar aap is kavita ko aur gehri banane ya is par aur likhne ka soch rahi hain, to kya mai kuch sujhav de sakta hoon?@Anchal
Click to expand...
Suggestions always Welcome jnaab...
 
Anchal23 said:
Suggestions always Welcome jnaab...
Click to expand...
Bilkul, agar aap is kavita ko aur gehri banane ka soch rahi hain, to kuch sujhav hain jo aapki kavita mein aur bhi jazbaat aur gehraai jod sakte hain:

1. "Kuch Adhure Sapne" ka Sandarbh:
Aap us dard ko aur gehra kar sakti hain jo kisi ke chhod kar jaane ke baad adhure sapno ke roop mein bacha reh jata hai. Jaise:
"Tere sang dekhe the jo khwabon ke mahal,
Teri rawangi ke saath bikhar gaye woh pal."

2. "Aitbaar ka Darpan":
Mohabbat mein aitbaar ki ahmiyat par likhna. Aap apne dil ke bharose aur us bharose ke tootne ko aur detail mein explore kar sakti hain:
"Teri baaton ka darpan, ek din chhalk gaya,
Jhooth ke dhund mein sach kahin khok gaya."

3. "Judaai aur Maafi ka Sangam":
Judaai ke dard ke saath, maafi ke jazbaat ko aur gehra banane ke liye likha ja sakta hai:
"Tujhe maaf karte karte, khud ko khona pada,
Tere gunahon ka bojh, sirf mera hona pada."

4. Ek Shabd "Anchal" ko Gahan Arth Dena:
Anchal ka ek aur roop dikhaya ja sakta hai – jo kabhi apnapan ka pratik tha, ab judaai ki dastaan ban gaya:
"Tera woh anchal, jo mera aasra tha,
Aaj usi ke saaye mein, dard basera tha."

5. "Antim Mod aur Swavlamban":
Kavita ka ant is roop se ho sakta hai ki aap apne aap ko dhokhe se ubarte hue aur ek naye mod ki shuruaat karte dikhaayen:
"Chhod diya tujhe, tujhse kuch shikayat nahi,
Naye sapno ke sang, ab mujhe mohabbat nahi."

Kya in jazbaat ko explore karne ka sochengi aap? Shayari ko aur gehra aur vyaktigat banane ke liye aapke
jazbaat ka ek alag rang jodega.@Anchal23
 
Lion_Hearted said:
Bilkul, agar aap is kavita ko aur gehri banane ka soch rahi hain, to kuch sujhav hain jo aapki kavita mein aur bhi jazbaat aur gehraai jod sakte hain:

1. "Kuch Adhure Sapne" ka Sandarbh:
Aap us dard ko aur gehra kar sakti hain jo kisi ke chhod kar jaane ke baad adhure sapno ke roop mein bacha reh jata hai. Jaise:
"Tere sang dekhe the jo khwabon ke mahal,
Teri rawangi ke saath bikhar gaye woh pal."

2. "Aitbaar ka Darpan":
Mohabbat mein aitbaar ki ahmiyat par likhna. Aap apne dil ke bharose aur us bharose ke tootne ko aur detail mein explore kar sakti hain:
"Teri baaton ka darpan, ek din chhalk gaya,
Jhooth ke dhund mein sach kahin khok gaya."

3. "Judaai aur Maafi ka Sangam":
Judaai ke dard ke saath, maafi ke jazbaat ko aur gehra banane ke liye likha ja sakta hai:
"Tujhe maaf karte karte, khud ko khona pada,
Tere gunahon ka bojh, sirf mera hona pada."

4. Ek Shabd "Anchal" ko Gahan Arth Dena:
Anchal ka ek aur roop dikhaya ja sakta hai – jo kabhi apnapan ka pratik tha, ab judaai ki dastaan ban gaya:
"Tera woh anchal, jo mera aasra tha,
Aaj usi ke saaye mein, dard basera tha."

5. "Antim Mod aur Swavlamban":
Kavita ka ant is roop se ho sakta hai ki aap apne aap ko dhokhe se ubarte hue aur ek naye mod ki shuruaat karte dikhaayen:
"Chhod diya tujhe, tujhse kuch shikayat nahi,
Naye sapno ke sang, ab mujhe mohabbat nahi."

Kya in jazbaat ko explore karne ka sochengi aap? Shayari ko aur gehra aur vyaktigat banane ke liye aapke
jazbaat ka ek alag rang jodega.@Anchal23
Click to expand...
Shaandar... Ji jarur kosish krungi... inko khi pirro paau ..

shukria!!
 
Anchal23 said:
Chalte Chalte dunia mai ak wo pal aa gaya
Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya...
Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai
Andaja nhi hai wo aesa hoga, Par ye to bas shruwat hai...
Inn sabse bekhabar, maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia
Ak dil aur mila khelne ke liye, ye soch kr usne bhi ikraar kar dia...
Maine us'se jo bhi pucha, usne jhootha jwab dia
Aankh moond kar maine , uski baaton par aitbaar kia...
Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai, Phone maanga to nhi dia
Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia...
Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia
Samajh naa paayi uski soch, hmesha usko maine maaf kia...
Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi
Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi...
Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya,
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....!!!
Click to expand...
Wow. Likhne ki style itni cute hai ki kisi ko bhi pyar aa jaye aur itne dard se bhari hai ki kisi ko bhi rona aa jaye. :hearteyes::cool:
 
Anchal23 said:
Chalte Chalte dunia mai ak wo pal aa gaya
Jab koi aesa mila jispe mera dil aa gaya...
Hai wo kisi aur ka, chal rahi kisi aur se baat hai
Andaja nhi hai wo aesa hoga, Par ye to bas shruwat hai...
Inn sabse bekhabar, maine us'se apne dil ki baat ko keh dia
Ak dil aur mila khelne ke liye, ye soch kr usne bhi ikraar kar dia...
Maine us'se jo bhi pucha, usne jhootha jwab dia
Aankh moond kar maine , uski baaton par aitbaar kia...
Fir pta chla mujhe uske baare mai, Phone maanga to nhi dia
Mai Royi mera dil roya, par fir bhi usko maine maaf kia...
Fir usne mere Aatm-Samman par, uthana swaal shuru kia
Samajh naa paayi uski soch, hmesha usko maine maaf kia...
Dhire Dhire uske mai kareeb ho gayi
Padh na paayi usko, Mai Bevkoof ho gayi...
Fir liya Jindagi ne ak Mod naya,
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....
"Anchal" ho gayi purani, Hua koi aur uska naya....!!!
Click to expand...
yes-excited.gif
 
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