I will enjoy the day.
I wish I can enjoy the sunrise on a beach,
I wish I can make snow angels in the snow,
I wish I can dance one last time with someone I love, although I don't know any dance, guess I just want to see the smile on my loved one's face while dancing with me,
I treated some people badly in my past, I want to apologize to them and make up for my mistakes if I can do anything for them,
Finally, I want to write about my whole life in a book and the experiences I had and how they shaped me. That is a lot of writing, I wish I can do that in one day but it is not possible so I better start documenting my experiences from now onwards. I hope at least some find it useful, I hope people learn how not to fuck up by learning from my fuck-ups. I hope it will help people who feel like they are a misfit, I just want to say to them, "it is ok to be a misfit, it is ok to be too much, it is ok to be a freak show, you can improve, don't lose faith in yourself",
I wish I can help the person in need, to see the person smile, just to experience what it means to be human one last time,
I want to rest in my mom's lap one last time, talk a lot with her,
I wish I can go to a perfectly made bed, I wish I can go to sleep with a smile on my face.
Guess, that's it.
I don't know why, writing this brought tears running down my eyes, I feel very sad inside but it actually feels good, I feel normal.