Comparison that most of the parents do.!??
- Thread starter Minervaa
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They don't know the impact it will have on lil minds ..... These things should change ...
D
Deleted member 3127
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Child brain is like flower !! Either it bloom or it dies!!
Parents irrespective of what shape will the flower take, they should water the plant daily!!
When you tell a kid that you are not so intelligent, his brain receives that signal will start creating space in brain that"" I am not intelligent !! So I should do some other thing to pass exmss!!"
And coming to parents who just encourages his kid irrespective of marks he gains like " My kid is always awesome ,, he can study better, he got potential"" these words makes kid to retrain his brain that he can study better just that he don't study!!
Kids brain is like making a pot, How we mould it , that shape it takes!!
Its in parents hands to mould that into beautiful pot!!
I am talking from my experience!!
when I was kid , I was just kinda average student , and I didn't even care about studies, but one day after parents teachers kinda meet, my grand parents and my father's younger brother were discussing and I heard, and they were saying , he is one of the smartest kid , give him milk and horlicks daily so that he would nourish!!
I was the 4th standard student that time, I didn't remember about horlicks but I remember that word smart boy!! I realised the fact that if study well and excel , people will praise me, that enthusiasm made me to study well, To be frank, I don't have great IQ too!! I used to forget things easily, but that drive in my mind that people will praise me once I achieve made me crazy and helped study the same thing again and again until I remember!!
Its just that motivation and drive in child's brain which will help him excel not the actual IQ or something else!!
Parents irrespective of what shape will the flower take, they should water the plant daily!!
When you tell a kid that you are not so intelligent, his brain receives that signal will start creating space in brain that"" I am not intelligent !! So I should do some other thing to pass exmss!!"
And coming to parents who just encourages his kid irrespective of marks he gains like " My kid is always awesome ,, he can study better, he got potential"" these words makes kid to retrain his brain that he can study better just that he don't study!!
Kids brain is like making a pot, How we mould it , that shape it takes!!
Its in parents hands to mould that into beautiful pot!!
I am talking from my experience!!
when I was kid , I was just kinda average student , and I didn't even care about studies, but one day after parents teachers kinda meet, my grand parents and my father's younger brother were discussing and I heard, and they were saying , he is one of the smartest kid , give him milk and horlicks daily so that he would nourish!!
I was the 4th standard student that time, I didn't remember about horlicks but I remember that word smart boy!! I realised the fact that if study well and excel , people will praise me, that enthusiasm made me to study well, To be frank, I don't have great IQ too!! I used to forget things easily, but that drive in my mind that people will praise me once I achieve made me crazy and helped study the same thing again and again until I remember!!
Its just that motivation and drive in child's brain which will help him excel not the actual IQ or something else!!
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In the present age, where competition has spread its tentacles in every walk of life, it is crucial to teach our kids to be grounded. And comparing them at each step will just not help. They should be taught to better themselves with each day, not to be better than their counterparts.
The words cruise out of our mouths inadvertently. "Look at him/her, she is so much better than you" or "Why can't you be more like him/her?". Why do we compare our children with others? As much as we want to refrain from it, we end up doing it. Is it an inevitable human trait or can we resist the impulse if we try?
Well, "comparison" is counter-productive for anyone. But it is all the more debasing for children. Children are tender beings and they do not take too well to negative criticism. And if the criticism involves telling them how others are better than they are in some way, then it is all the more painful. This does not mean that we shouldn't point out their mistakes and help them improve, but anything beyond this is overkill.
It is natural to want to know where our children stand amidst others, in this world of ranks and percentages and where everyone is bidding for that coveted seat in a top school or university. But to constantly harangue them about how much better others are will do nothing but lay the foundation for an inferiority complex.
Here are some reasons why we should not compare our children with others.
1. It will cause self-doubt
If we are told by someone that we are not good at something and that there are others out there who are excel at it, slowly but steadily self-doubt will grow. Our children will be left wondering if they can ever be good enough. Our job as parents is to encourage them at every step they take, not remind them of who else is ahead.
2. Jealousy will take root
If you keep comparing your child with an apparent paragon of virtue, he or she may begin to suffer from pangs of extreme jealousy. It can be a neighbourhood kid, a classmate, a cousin and so on. Jealousy is not a very healthy feeling to harbour and the poor child will be tormented by jealousy which could all to easily turn into hatred, and perhaps even aggression.
3. It will breed negativity
When others are always being built up and the child torn down, he or she could become negative - why even try if you can never measure up, after all? Rather than embracing new tasks and challenges with a positive spirit, the child's assumptions about himself and the outcomes of what he or she does will be negative. Negativity is not at all good for a person's well being. We all want to raise children who are positive and who spread happiness around.
4. It will damage the parent-child relationship
If you tell your child time and again that the neighbour's kid is better than her, she will eventually start despising you. Children are emotionally vulnerable. They may not be able to see the bigger picture and that you are concerned for them. Instead, they will feel that you are not on their side.
5. They will grow into jittery and nervous adults
Parents who compare their kids at the drop of a hat will eventually make their kids nervous and jittery. The child may become excessively focused on pleasing the parents (and others) and will constantly feel they are not meeting expectations. They will lose their natural confidence and autonomy
The words cruise out of our mouths inadvertently. "Look at him/her, she is so much better than you" or "Why can't you be more like him/her?". Why do we compare our children with others? As much as we want to refrain from it, we end up doing it. Is it an inevitable human trait or can we resist the impulse if we try?
Well, "comparison" is counter-productive for anyone. But it is all the more debasing for children. Children are tender beings and they do not take too well to negative criticism. And if the criticism involves telling them how others are better than they are in some way, then it is all the more painful. This does not mean that we shouldn't point out their mistakes and help them improve, but anything beyond this is overkill.
It is natural to want to know where our children stand amidst others, in this world of ranks and percentages and where everyone is bidding for that coveted seat in a top school or university. But to constantly harangue them about how much better others are will do nothing but lay the foundation for an inferiority complex.
Here are some reasons why we should not compare our children with others.
1. It will cause self-doubt
If we are told by someone that we are not good at something and that there are others out there who are excel at it, slowly but steadily self-doubt will grow. Our children will be left wondering if they can ever be good enough. Our job as parents is to encourage them at every step they take, not remind them of who else is ahead.
2. Jealousy will take root
If you keep comparing your child with an apparent paragon of virtue, he or she may begin to suffer from pangs of extreme jealousy. It can be a neighbourhood kid, a classmate, a cousin and so on. Jealousy is not a very healthy feeling to harbour and the poor child will be tormented by jealousy which could all to easily turn into hatred, and perhaps even aggression.
3. It will breed negativity
When others are always being built up and the child torn down, he or she could become negative - why even try if you can never measure up, after all? Rather than embracing new tasks and challenges with a positive spirit, the child's assumptions about himself and the outcomes of what he or she does will be negative. Negativity is not at all good for a person's well being. We all want to raise children who are positive and who spread happiness around.
4. It will damage the parent-child relationship
If you tell your child time and again that the neighbour's kid is better than her, she will eventually start despising you. Children are emotionally vulnerable. They may not be able to see the bigger picture and that you are concerned for them. Instead, they will feel that you are not on their side.
5. They will grow into jittery and nervous adults
Parents who compare their kids at the drop of a hat will eventually make their kids nervous and jittery. The child may become excessively focused on pleasing the parents (and others) and will constantly feel they are not meeting expectations. They will lose their natural confidence and autonomy
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Comparison is the death of joy - Mark Twain
Thank u for ur answer.
Thank u deepak ji for ur answer
Yeah cuz the comparison is the death of joy
Omg , ee paragraphs chadiveku bathuluga nenu upsc or ssc chadvi job tesukovachu 
Haha exactly i skipped after I read half...Omg , ee paragraphs chadiveku bathuluga nenu upsc or ssc chadvi job tesukovachu
no offence am just lazyass 
I didnt got the exact meaning of that word
I hope it means "see that fellow and be like that"
if it means that, then its terribly irritating thing doing by parents..
jahnvi
Active Ranker
On the contrary of majority, I support those dialogues from parents. Well performance gets compared at various points of life. All the things parents are doing is just being naive to make their child sportive and competitive to this cruel world.
Let's look at the reality, do you get to work or study harder when you have competition or do you excel when there is no excitement in achievement.
Not many souls out there in the world are self motivated and work on themselves for better self.
All the parents are doing is futile effort to not let their kids crumple when defeated and raise above the failures. If not parents, who are the best teachers out their in the world.
Ofcourse overdoing things is not appreciated in any field. Same applies here too. Once in a while is fine, but not on daily basis to put an Immense pressure.
Jus notice, didn't the parents were as excited as we were when we achieve anything? Or as sad as we were when we fail? This empathy won't be reflected in other parts where we are getting compared, say it work or class or society etc. Ppl jus do random judgments and pass all their negativity to a person to kill his soul for their random entertainment. I might agree , when the day comes where ranks , hikes , medals, guiness records are given with out any comparison and when ppl are not affected with the defeat or failure.
Try to put yourselves in other shoes. You will understand.
#NewPerspective
#EverythingIsAdorable
Let's look at the reality, do you get to work or study harder when you have competition or do you excel when there is no excitement in achievement.
Not many souls out there in the world are self motivated and work on themselves for better self.
All the parents are doing is futile effort to not let their kids crumple when defeated and raise above the failures. If not parents, who are the best teachers out their in the world.
Ofcourse overdoing things is not appreciated in any field. Same applies here too. Once in a while is fine, but not on daily basis to put an Immense pressure.
Jus notice, didn't the parents were as excited as we were when we achieve anything? Or as sad as we were when we fail? This empathy won't be reflected in other parts where we are getting compared, say it work or class or society etc. Ppl jus do random judgments and pass all their negativity to a person to kill his soul for their random entertainment. I might agree , when the day comes where ranks , hikes , medals, guiness records are given with out any comparison and when ppl are not affected with the defeat or failure.
Try to put yourselves in other shoes. You will understand.
#NewPerspective
#EverythingIsAdorable
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