Addiction
~Aparnah
In the quiet of the night,
a message pops up, a sound so slight,
I gaze up at the screen, curiosity taking flight.
Who could it be, at this hour so late?
Not those close to me,
who usually keep such a state
Clicking on the notification,
a shock takes hold.
A message from him,
the one I adored, so bold.
Words I can't recall, but they brought a blush
A simple joy, a flutter, a rush
Actually a dream that shook this moment,
so pure and sweet.
An addiction to this platform, or perhaps,
to the one I secretly meet.
He pulls me close, yet pushes me away,
A dance of emotions, in the light of day.
Overthinking, a habit long ingrained,
A struggle to break free,
yet still remained.
Addicted to thoughts,
to feelings unknown
A mystery, a puzzle, a seed sown.
No hurt, no pain,
just a longing inside,
A plant of addiction,
a seed to abide.
Watered by hope, nurtured by time,
A part of me, a rhythm, a rhyme.
This addiction,
a part of my soul,
A yearning, a whisper,
a tale untold.
Let it grow, let it stay,
A piece of me, in the dark of day.
So here I stand,
with thoughts so grand.
A tapestry of emotions,
woven by hand.
Addicted to the unknown, to the unseen,
In the quiet of the night, where dreams convene.
_________________________________________________
So talking about this few days back at the middle of the night, I heard a message pop up sound and instantly I looked up there, it's quiet strange to get a message at this hour, who can it be, those who're close to me aren't on online, curiosity shoots as I thought about it, 'who can it be?'and without wasting the time, I clicked on the messages and got shocked to see his message, the one who never texts me, the one who I adored (it's someone who's here and this is a real story but can't say who he is, because he doesn't even know that)
The text, I don't remember it, but it made me happy, it made me blush, I don't thinks it's something big but it was of some few words but it made me rejoice, and when I think about it, I can feel it, how happy that dream was, I dreamed about this, it was a dream! you'll think I'm insane who's madly addicted to this platform, but is that the real reason or is it that, I'm addicted to that person?
Whatever instance it can be, 'Addiction' is quite a heavy word right, which can give some mark on our heart, deep and intense. So this person whoever it may, I have seen him, from the low to high, I have known him (no I'm not talking about you) he ain't my addiction, but he has something that pulls me towards him, and he has something that push me away from him. As many of them know, I had this habit of 'overthinking' from a longtime, I had tried to stop it a lot, but what to do, I'm addicted to thinking too.
Maybe it's not about pulling or pushing but there is something that keeps us separated, and I'm addicted to that something to, that I don't really know what it is. This all addition, related to him, haven't hurted me at all till now, no it haven't, its jusy like a seed that is in my heart which wishes to be watered and nurtured, though it can't be, like this addiction is a plant that wants to grow inside my heart, but which can't be, and I'm completely okay with it, let at least the seed stays there, right.
So I wrote this only because, this person texts me just like that dream, and I don't want to explain again how rejoiced I'll be at that time, again, you already know. And this dream and the addiction was stuck on my mind from that day, and I don't want that there, so I just poured it out in words. I don't know to where this addiction take me, but I'm sure that it won't effect me at all because I'm already addicted to myself now, still I can feel that seed deep down there.
And I'm stopping here not making it too long, to whoever read till this thank you, you helped me easing my heaviness. (And as the thread title says it's about addiction, I'll love to listen to what you're addicted to - I hope very few will read this )
With love,
Appu.
Finally, completed...
