The Royal Treatment
Let me introduce the characters of this drama,
King Ignatius: A pompous and clueless monarch who believes himself to be the epitome of benevolence.
Queen Seraphina: The King's equally oblivious wife, who mirrors his misguided sense of grandeur.
Sir Reginald: The royal advisor, who is sarcastic and tired of the King's antics.
Lady Ethel: A commoner who has come to the palace seeking aid but is treated with supreme condescension.
Scene: The Grand Hall of the Royal Palace
{The hall is opulent, adorned with gold and lavish. King Ignatius lounges on a throne that is unnecessarily large, while Queen Seraphina sits beside him, twirling a fan. Sir Reginald stands to one side, looking exasperated. Lady Ethel, dressed in modest attire, approaches hesitantly.}
King Ignatius: (In a booming voice) Ah, welcome, welcome! You have graced us with your presence. What can we, the most benevolent rulers of this grand kingdom, do for you?
Lady Ethel: (Nervously) Your Majesties, I come seeking your assistance. My family has fallen on hard times, and we desperately need help to pay our rent.
Queen Seraphina: (With exaggerated sympathy) Oh, how dreadful! Imagine, a commoner having trouble with rent. How quaint!
Sir Reginald: (Muttering to himself) More like tragic. But what’s new?
King Ignatius: (Grandly) We shall of course help you. But first, you must tell us—what is it you truly need? A sumptuous feast? A new gown? Perhaps a golden carriage?
Lady Ethel: (Confused) Um, no, Your Majesty. I only need a small sum of money, enough to cover the rent.
Queen Seraphina: (Clapping her hands) Oh, I do love the simplicity of it! How charming. We must have a feast in your honor first, as befits someone so downtrodden!
Lady Ethel: (Desperate) Please, no, Your Majesty. I really just need the money—there’s no need for any celebration. My family is starving.
King Ignatius: (Solemnly) Ah, but how can we, the epitome of grace, send you away without a grand spectacle? It would be most unseemly. Sir Reginald, prepare the royal kitchens!
Sir Reginald: (Sighing) Very well, Your Majesty.
Queen Seraphina: (To Lady Ethel) And while we prepare your feast, please enjoy our luxurious seating. It’s the finest in all the kingdom.
Lady Ethel: (Sitting awkwardly on an overly ornate chair) I just need the money...
King Ignatius: (Indulgently) You shall have it, but only after we have celebrated your plight. It is only right that we, the sovereigns, bestow our magnanimity upon you.
Sir Reginald: (Aside to Lady Ethel) If it helps, just play along. It’s the only way to get them to stop being so "generous."
Lady Ethel: (Weakly) Thank you, Sir Reginald.
(A feast is prepared, and Lady Ethel is forced to partake in an extravagant display of food and entertainment. After hours of pomp and circumstance, King Ignatius finally hands her a small pouch of coins.)
King Ignatius: (With a grand flourish) Here is the aid you so desperately needed. Remember, it is the benevolence of the crown that has saved you!
Lady Ethel: (Tired and disheveled) Thank you, Your Majesty. I’m very grateful.
Queen Seraphina: (Pleased) Oh, how wonderful it feels to be so generous!
Sir Reginald: (Dryly) Indeed. It’s a good thing the crown’s magnanimity is as boundless as their sense of occasion.
(Lady Ethel exits, clutching the pouch. The King and Queen return to their throne, satisfied with their “charitable” display.)
King Ignatius: (Contentedly) Another day well spent, Seraphina. Another day of spreading our royal wisdom.
Queen Seraphina: (Nodding) Yes, we do make the world a better place, don’t we?
Sir Reginald: (Sarcastically) One overblown spectacle at a time.
(The scene ends with the King and Queen basking in their self-satisfaction, oblivious to the irony of their actions.)
Curtain falls.
Dr Dear
Let me introduce the characters of this drama,
King Ignatius: A pompous and clueless monarch who believes himself to be the epitome of benevolence.
Queen Seraphina: The King's equally oblivious wife, who mirrors his misguided sense of grandeur.
Sir Reginald: The royal advisor, who is sarcastic and tired of the King's antics.
Lady Ethel: A commoner who has come to the palace seeking aid but is treated with supreme condescension.
Scene: The Grand Hall of the Royal Palace
{The hall is opulent, adorned with gold and lavish. King Ignatius lounges on a throne that is unnecessarily large, while Queen Seraphina sits beside him, twirling a fan. Sir Reginald stands to one side, looking exasperated. Lady Ethel, dressed in modest attire, approaches hesitantly.}
King Ignatius: (In a booming voice) Ah, welcome, welcome! You have graced us with your presence. What can we, the most benevolent rulers of this grand kingdom, do for you?
Lady Ethel: (Nervously) Your Majesties, I come seeking your assistance. My family has fallen on hard times, and we desperately need help to pay our rent.
Queen Seraphina: (With exaggerated sympathy) Oh, how dreadful! Imagine, a commoner having trouble with rent. How quaint!
Sir Reginald: (Muttering to himself) More like tragic. But what’s new?
King Ignatius: (Grandly) We shall of course help you. But first, you must tell us—what is it you truly need? A sumptuous feast? A new gown? Perhaps a golden carriage?
Lady Ethel: (Confused) Um, no, Your Majesty. I only need a small sum of money, enough to cover the rent.
Queen Seraphina: (Clapping her hands) Oh, I do love the simplicity of it! How charming. We must have a feast in your honor first, as befits someone so downtrodden!
Lady Ethel: (Desperate) Please, no, Your Majesty. I really just need the money—there’s no need for any celebration. My family is starving.
King Ignatius: (Solemnly) Ah, but how can we, the epitome of grace, send you away without a grand spectacle? It would be most unseemly. Sir Reginald, prepare the royal kitchens!
Sir Reginald: (Sighing) Very well, Your Majesty.
Queen Seraphina: (To Lady Ethel) And while we prepare your feast, please enjoy our luxurious seating. It’s the finest in all the kingdom.
Lady Ethel: (Sitting awkwardly on an overly ornate chair) I just need the money...
King Ignatius: (Indulgently) You shall have it, but only after we have celebrated your plight. It is only right that we, the sovereigns, bestow our magnanimity upon you.
Sir Reginald: (Aside to Lady Ethel) If it helps, just play along. It’s the only way to get them to stop being so "generous."
Lady Ethel: (Weakly) Thank you, Sir Reginald.
(A feast is prepared, and Lady Ethel is forced to partake in an extravagant display of food and entertainment. After hours of pomp and circumstance, King Ignatius finally hands her a small pouch of coins.)
King Ignatius: (With a grand flourish) Here is the aid you so desperately needed. Remember, it is the benevolence of the crown that has saved you!
Lady Ethel: (Tired and disheveled) Thank you, Your Majesty. I’m very grateful.
Queen Seraphina: (Pleased) Oh, how wonderful it feels to be so generous!
Sir Reginald: (Dryly) Indeed. It’s a good thing the crown’s magnanimity is as boundless as their sense of occasion.
(Lady Ethel exits, clutching the pouch. The King and Queen return to their throne, satisfied with their “charitable” display.)
King Ignatius: (Contentedly) Another day well spent, Seraphina. Another day of spreading our royal wisdom.
Queen Seraphina: (Nodding) Yes, we do make the world a better place, don’t we?
Sir Reginald: (Sarcastically) One overblown spectacle at a time.
(The scene ends with the King and Queen basking in their self-satisfaction, oblivious to the irony of their actions.)
Curtain falls.
Dr Dear
good
