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Random thoughts

D

Deleted member 59

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I haven't been around much, and I must confess I miss a little taking some time of my day to try turning into words the thoughts I have in my mind, often running wild... Being awfully honest I don't expect much to any reply on this thread, just the usual personal comfort of getting out of my system things I can't find the best words to say... today I woke up thinking of life, time and death, the holy trinity of questions, and I just started thinking about how I envisioned my life to be, how it really is and if I got enough time to at least make better choices before I return to dust. Reading these words make me think of how self centered I am being, but maybe I get to do that after much time lost and spent on others than myself... and it was a waste to do it, nothing good came out of it. And that's life isn't it? A series of poor choices till realization comes, and then you have no time left to change it and death comes and takes you and that's it, the end...
 
I have had every intention of replying to this thread sooner, I first came across it about a week ago, but I've not been sure how to write my thoughts to it. To say you are being self-centred I completely disagree with, you are an amazingly open caring person, you are selfless. I just like you have put many many people first, and tried to help them before I've helped myself and had it completely backfire on me, and that hurts. Especially when you've gone way out of your comfort zone to help them for it all to be thrown right back in your face, it hurts like you've been pricked by a million needles all at the same time. (I don't like needles). To think about all the if's, buts and why's is what makes us all human.

Some years ago (in my early 20s, I'm now an old miserable 30 something year old) I had a vision of how I wanted my life to be, in what would have been the future at that moment in time, now 'that' future has become the present, it's nothing like how I had envisioned... and just the thought of it makes me feel like crap, mostly because I've no idea how to turn it all around to make my 'once dreamed/wanted vision' become a reality
 
Deleted member 59 said:
I haven't been around much, and I must confess I miss a little taking some time of my day to try turning into words the thoughts I have in my mind, often running wild... Being awfully honest I don't expect much to any reply on this thread, just the usual personal comfort of getting out of my system things I can't find the best words to say... today I woke up thinking of life, time and death, the holy trinity of questions, and I just started thinking about how I envisioned my life to be, how it really is and if I got enough time to at least make better choices before I return to dust. Reading these words make me think of how self centered I am being, but maybe I get to do that after much time lost and spent on others than myself... and it was a waste to do it, nothing good came out of it. And that's life isn't it? A series of poor choices till realization comes, and then you have no time left to change it and death comes and takes you and that's it, the end...
Click to expand...
Amazing. Felt someone read my mind
 
Our modern life is devoid of happiness and peace because there are too many things to be done and many unwanted desires to be met. Self-realization is an ideal way to reconnect with oneself
 
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