I don’t know what I’ll be writing in this thread. Or maybe my subconscious knows, and I don’t.
So, I’m feeling overwhelmed this time, and I don’t want to lose control over my eyes. Till last month, there hadn’t been a day in my life without shedding venom from my eyes, burning my cheeks like sunburns... Who knew my delicate skin couldn’t even tolerate a milliliter of tears (haha)? Yet my strong soul survived the hardest phase of life (or maybe that was just a trailer from God, haha).
I survived my tough days by looking at the sky. I believe God is above the skies, watching over me. So, I always talk to the sky. The sky over me knows all my secrets. It knows the times I cried, my insecurities, fears, and anxieties. So, whenever I saw clouds spreading all over, my heart and mind would lose control. Anxiety would take over, and I felt like the only thing that knew the true me was also leaving me.
In my toughest days, I found nature to be my only companion. In the lap of the mountains, I find the warmth of my mother’s embrace. A gentle breeze taps my shoulder, saying, "I’m here, don’t worry." Raindrops helped me cry without being noticed in public, and snowflakes calmed me down when my soul was breaking. When, at night, I felt like breath was leaving my lungs forever, I found the moon holding me tight in its light. And the sky was always there, never leaving me for even a second, with a promise (haha! It crossed the clouds for me, always).
I never needed humans to console me (and I still don’t need people to calm my anxieties when in distress). The friends I tried to rely on betrayed me, stabbed me, and left me in the middle of a river of fire (or maybe it wasn’t her mistake; we were just too young to understand the value of real friendship).
It took me years to overcome my grief, so I protect my heart like a glass castle. I don’t even let anyone come too close. I don’t let people cross the boundaries I set. I don’t go for outings with friends when I’m sad. Rather, I stay home or go for a trek (not alone, I always take my driver uncle with me for safety reasons. Haha).
I raise a cow (it gave me a calf too, yayyy So happy), and I have chickens and ducks too. I grow veggies in my kitchen garden (ugh, I don’t like to eat them... but for Mom, I do this hard work, just to give her everything organic). I find happiness around them.
Ah, finally, while writing this thread, I realize my life is beautiful. I should be grateful for these great things.
So, I’m feeling overwhelmed this time, and I don’t want to lose control over my eyes. Till last month, there hadn’t been a day in my life without shedding venom from my eyes, burning my cheeks like sunburns... Who knew my delicate skin couldn’t even tolerate a milliliter of tears (haha)? Yet my strong soul survived the hardest phase of life (or maybe that was just a trailer from God, haha).
I survived my tough days by looking at the sky. I believe God is above the skies, watching over me. So, I always talk to the sky. The sky over me knows all my secrets. It knows the times I cried, my insecurities, fears, and anxieties. So, whenever I saw clouds spreading all over, my heart and mind would lose control. Anxiety would take over, and I felt like the only thing that knew the true me was also leaving me.
In my toughest days, I found nature to be my only companion. In the lap of the mountains, I find the warmth of my mother’s embrace. A gentle breeze taps my shoulder, saying, "I’m here, don’t worry." Raindrops helped me cry without being noticed in public, and snowflakes calmed me down when my soul was breaking. When, at night, I felt like breath was leaving my lungs forever, I found the moon holding me tight in its light. And the sky was always there, never leaving me for even a second, with a promise (haha! It crossed the clouds for me, always).
I never needed humans to console me (and I still don’t need people to calm my anxieties when in distress). The friends I tried to rely on betrayed me, stabbed me, and left me in the middle of a river of fire (or maybe it wasn’t her mistake; we were just too young to understand the value of real friendship).
It took me years to overcome my grief, so I protect my heart like a glass castle. I don’t even let anyone come too close. I don’t let people cross the boundaries I set. I don’t go for outings with friends when I’m sad. Rather, I stay home or go for a trek (not alone, I always take my driver uncle with me for safety reasons. Haha).
I raise a cow (it gave me a calf too, yayyy So happy), and I have chickens and ducks too. I grow veggies in my kitchen garden (ugh, I don’t like to eat them... but for Mom, I do this hard work, just to give her everything organic). I find happiness around them.
Ah, finally, while writing this thread, I realize my life is beautiful. I should be grateful for these great things.
