( Note: This is a translation of my original work in Telugu. If you can read Telugu - check here: https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/oka-sambhaashana.15047/ )
Few of the words here I want to use as is -without translating them. The contextual meaning is as below:
Pandu= Younger sister’s daughter; Chinna = Younger Sister; Chinnodu = My Son; Akka= Elder Sister; Amma = Mother; Naanna= Father; Annayya = Elder Brother
Pandu stays with my parents since she was born.
On every Saturday at certain time I make it a point to give a call to Amma, if I miss that call I end up with 10 missed calls in 2 minutes! In one of those talks - The Conversation is as below:
"Hello" "Amma, how are you?"
"I'm good! I was wondering why you haven't called yet today!! How are you? Is Chinnodu doing well?"
"He is good, Amma! How is everything at home? How is your health?"
"What happened to me? I'm fine. If you all are good, then I am good too. Do you want to talk to Chinna? It's been five years since I saw her, she has become so lean and pale, not like our Chinna that we raised."
"Why did she come all of a sudden? Is her health all good?"
“Our Pandu has matured! When I told her husband about this, he sent Chinna. He said she should come by evening, she's worried about the time."
"Okay, are you planning any functions now that she's matured?"
"We should, right? She's her only child, if we don't fulfill her wishes, it might bring bad luck to the house."
"Amma! I can’t tell you anything. Did we not talk about this before that no such kind of functions anymore? Anyway, I can’t argue with you. But I can tell you this much. Don’t tell her not to roam around the house or giving directions of make her sit in one place, and don't put programs like wrapping clothes around wooden dolls. You know about the changes happening in the body, so explain the precautions in a way she understands, but don't impose any other restrictions on playing/mingling with other kids”
"Why are you saying that?! Naanna is also saying the same, I can't deal with you both, wait, I'll tell Akka"
“No matter who you tell, I'll say the same! Anyway, give the phone to Chinna."
"Hey Annayya, how are you? How is my nephew? How is sister-in-law?"
“We'll talk about all that later, first tell me about yourself. No matter how many times I call, you don't answer. May be you were busy, but never even tried to give me a call back”
".....Hmm hmm ......My phone is also with him. He watches it ring without answering any calls. Not just your call, he doesn't let anyone answer calls that are meant for me. If Naanna calls, he turns on the speaker and asks me to talk ...Hmm hmm.... Even when he goes to the office, he takes my phone with him. Anyway, can you call on Naanna’s mobile in five minutes? I'll come to the terrace and talk?"
"Okay"
......
"Yes, tell me Chinna, What's the matter? How are you?"
"What can I say! Every day it's all abuses and harsh words, he abuses Amma, Naanna , and everyone at home by name with filthy language. He abuses Akka even more, saying she married a low-caste man, and you should also find someone. Sometimes he even hits with a belt. Recently, when I fought back with a stick, he stopped hitting but didn't stop the abuse. I also stopped arguing, thinking he would get tired and stop. But it's getting harder to bear every day."
"To endure a husband like this - you need either have disgust mixed with detachment or genuine love. You seem to have the first one. You've gotten used to enduring, right? What's harder now?"
"I want to die, Annayya..."
"Okay"
"What Okay ra idiot? What do you mean okay! I'm saying I want to die."
"Nothing...I was thinking Is that a statement or are you asking me how to die? Or do you need any help or guidance on that?"
Rey? Rey!! Nee Yabba - What's wrong with you? Do you think it's a joke when I say I want to die?"-"Rey, I'm feeling like crying... Hmm... Hmm. Why are you saying that? I've lost the patience to endure. I'm living only for Pandu, otherwise, I don't want to live."
"Those who are afraid of dying, they keep postponing death with a kind of satisfaction/or fooling themselves that they are living for someone else. There's nothing to be ashamed or sad about in this. So... keep living. Anyway, death is not a solution to anything. Many people think it takes courage to die, but actually, it takes courage to live."
"Rey! How can you talk like this? Without even a bit of sympathy?"
"Sympathy might bring votes in an election but it won't put food on the table or solve problems."
"Rey! My husband has AIDS!"
“Okay!
What do you mean okay? I'm telling you something serious and you're responding like it's nothing, without any emotions?"
"T.B., cancer, liver failure, love failure…. just like that AIDS is also just a disease. If someone gets it due to carelessness, there's nothing to say- there is no karma theory applies here. By the have you got it tested for yourself.
"I got tested, I don't have it."
"When was the last time you were physically intimate?"
"At least seven years ago."
"When did he find out he has AIDS?"
"Three years ago."
"Who else knows about this?"
"Only Naanna knows, even Amma doesn't."
"Where are the medical tests being done?"
"Naanna's student Raghavan is a big surgeon now. Naanna held Raghavan's hands and said, 'Don't tell this to anyone else, please.' And Raghavan said, 'Mastaaru, do you need to tell me this? Consider me as your son.' We go to him for medical tests every month."
"Why Nanna didn’t ever tell me about this?"
"He told me not to tell anyone, especially not to you."
"Okay, Why did you tell me then?"
"I felt you would give me the right advice."
“Okay, in this situation, didn't you ever feel
like leaving your husband?"
"Sometimes, when I can't bear his abuses, I feel like leaving. But then I think, who else will take care of him if not me? Every day I must give him greens, almonds and pistachios to increase his blood count. Who else will do this?"
"Did you ever feel like running away somewhere out of unbearable disgust and detachment?"
"I do feel like that... Hmm... Hmm... But then I fear and feel bad that I might bring disgrace to the family. Once I even asked dad if I should come back."
"What did he say?"
"He said, 'It's your wish, come back if you want, but think about this: your brothers or anyone else will take care of you only as long as I'm alive. Think about what happens after that.'"
"So, he meant none of us would take care of you?"
"Not like that, Naanna's words are also true, right? Why should I bring disgrace to Naanna who has such a good reputation?"
"Is reputation like a national flag, where we need to die wrapping that around protecting it? What reputation are we clinging to here?" "Everyone's lives are their own, everyone's problems are their own, there are no universal solutions for every problem. It's not about whether we will take care of you or not. It's about what you can do or do for yourself.
Now you have two paths ahead of you. One: Sacrifice your life like a devoted wife for your husband who is like a psycho abuser, clinging to illusions of reputation. Two: Decide that you've had enough of this marriage, pack your bags and leave."
"But he will die, poor thing."
"Oh! Is his name Mahatma? Or is he a saint unfortunately got this disease? He will die at some point, right? May be the pharmacological advances in science might delay the inevitable or he might survive as well when a drug is found to cure. I am not worried about all those. What I am really worry about here is, You.
Usually as parents and siblings when we are looking for a marriage alliance what we are more focused on is: Does the groom have the habit of drugs, cigarettes, poker, and street vendors? How much is his salary? How much money does he earn? How much is his property? How much is his debt? Howhandsome is he? How much credit does he have? Does he have any siblings or parents, no siblings the better! No one cares about his mental disorders and the psychotic behavior. It’s a collective failure of all of us for not getting a right man for you. Sorry.
The real disease in your man is not AIDS. The unlimited suspicion, the feeling of inferiority, and the sadistic devilishness that comes from these are the real diseases. Even if someone discovers an antidote to AIDS before your man dies, there is no guarantee that you will not die of his suffering in the meantime. You should have turned around and retaliated - and told him - you idiot! consider-it as a blessing that you are still him and still serving him- but if you torture me for no reason, I can't bear it. If you could honestly say that you would will kill him by mixing Endrin in rice, there is no guarantee that he will take it in the right context and do as you say. What if he being a prick there is no guarantee that with a razor blade, he would mix his blood with yours in uncontrolled anger? "Do you think you can stand on your own two feet now? You have a master's degree in hand, and you can find a job somewhere. There is no real need to do a job. But you must doit. It is a diversionary activity, and you need to have financial independence more than anything now, as Naanna said what if we are not going to look after you in the future. We never know right? It is useful to forget the wounds. Do not worry about Pandu, we will definitely take care of her."
What will Naanna say?"
"I know him better, when your future is at stake, he is not a coward to hang on to prestige through devilish social lenses. If you want to come, he won't tell you not to come, but I'll talk to Nanna anyway, don’t worry about it."
"Then what do you want me to do now?"
"Go Home! If you have the courage to tell him that you are leaving for good, do it! Otherwise come in the name of Pandu’sfunction. But when you come, don't forget the gold, jewelry, and more importantly your degree certificates, and marks memos."
"Okay! I'll leave, I'll come in the name of the function."
"Okay, then, I'll talk to Naanna in the meantime, okay?"
"Okay, Annayya BYE”
22-APR-2025
Few of the words here I want to use as is -without translating them. The contextual meaning is as below:
Pandu= Younger sister’s daughter; Chinna = Younger Sister; Chinnodu = My Son; Akka= Elder Sister; Amma = Mother; Naanna= Father; Annayya = Elder Brother
Pandu stays with my parents since she was born.
On every Saturday at certain time I make it a point to give a call to Amma, if I miss that call I end up with 10 missed calls in 2 minutes! In one of those talks - The Conversation is as below:
"Hello" "Amma, how are you?"
"I'm good! I was wondering why you haven't called yet today!! How are you? Is Chinnodu doing well?"
"He is good, Amma! How is everything at home? How is your health?"
"What happened to me? I'm fine. If you all are good, then I am good too. Do you want to talk to Chinna? It's been five years since I saw her, she has become so lean and pale, not like our Chinna that we raised."
"Why did she come all of a sudden? Is her health all good?"
“Our Pandu has matured! When I told her husband about this, he sent Chinna. He said she should come by evening, she's worried about the time."
"Okay, are you planning any functions now that she's matured?"
"We should, right? She's her only child, if we don't fulfill her wishes, it might bring bad luck to the house."
"Amma! I can’t tell you anything. Did we not talk about this before that no such kind of functions anymore? Anyway, I can’t argue with you. But I can tell you this much. Don’t tell her not to roam around the house or giving directions of make her sit in one place, and don't put programs like wrapping clothes around wooden dolls. You know about the changes happening in the body, so explain the precautions in a way she understands, but don't impose any other restrictions on playing/mingling with other kids”
"Why are you saying that?! Naanna is also saying the same, I can't deal with you both, wait, I'll tell Akka"
“No matter who you tell, I'll say the same! Anyway, give the phone to Chinna."
"Hey Annayya, how are you? How is my nephew? How is sister-in-law?"
“We'll talk about all that later, first tell me about yourself. No matter how many times I call, you don't answer. May be you were busy, but never even tried to give me a call back”
".....Hmm hmm ......My phone is also with him. He watches it ring without answering any calls. Not just your call, he doesn't let anyone answer calls that are meant for me. If Naanna calls, he turns on the speaker and asks me to talk ...Hmm hmm.... Even when he goes to the office, he takes my phone with him. Anyway, can you call on Naanna’s mobile in five minutes? I'll come to the terrace and talk?"
"Okay"
......
"Yes, tell me Chinna, What's the matter? How are you?"
"What can I say! Every day it's all abuses and harsh words, he abuses Amma, Naanna , and everyone at home by name with filthy language. He abuses Akka even more, saying she married a low-caste man, and you should also find someone. Sometimes he even hits with a belt. Recently, when I fought back with a stick, he stopped hitting but didn't stop the abuse. I also stopped arguing, thinking he would get tired and stop. But it's getting harder to bear every day."
"To endure a husband like this - you need either have disgust mixed with detachment or genuine love. You seem to have the first one. You've gotten used to enduring, right? What's harder now?"
"I want to die, Annayya..."
"Okay"
"What Okay ra idiot? What do you mean okay! I'm saying I want to die."
"Nothing...I was thinking Is that a statement or are you asking me how to die? Or do you need any help or guidance on that?"
Rey? Rey!! Nee Yabba - What's wrong with you? Do you think it's a joke when I say I want to die?"-"Rey, I'm feeling like crying... Hmm... Hmm. Why are you saying that? I've lost the patience to endure. I'm living only for Pandu, otherwise, I don't want to live."
"Those who are afraid of dying, they keep postponing death with a kind of satisfaction/or fooling themselves that they are living for someone else. There's nothing to be ashamed or sad about in this. So... keep living. Anyway, death is not a solution to anything. Many people think it takes courage to die, but actually, it takes courage to live."
"Rey! How can you talk like this? Without even a bit of sympathy?"
"Sympathy might bring votes in an election but it won't put food on the table or solve problems."
"Rey! My husband has AIDS!"
“Okay!
What do you mean okay? I'm telling you something serious and you're responding like it's nothing, without any emotions?"
"T.B., cancer, liver failure, love failure…. just like that AIDS is also just a disease. If someone gets it due to carelessness, there's nothing to say- there is no karma theory applies here. By the have you got it tested for yourself.
"I got tested, I don't have it."
"When was the last time you were physically intimate?"
"At least seven years ago."
"When did he find out he has AIDS?"
"Three years ago."
"Who else knows about this?"
"Only Naanna knows, even Amma doesn't."
"Where are the medical tests being done?"
"Naanna's student Raghavan is a big surgeon now. Naanna held Raghavan's hands and said, 'Don't tell this to anyone else, please.' And Raghavan said, 'Mastaaru, do you need to tell me this? Consider me as your son.' We go to him for medical tests every month."
"Why Nanna didn’t ever tell me about this?"
"He told me not to tell anyone, especially not to you."
"Okay, Why did you tell me then?"
"I felt you would give me the right advice."
“Okay, in this situation, didn't you ever feel
like leaving your husband?"
"Sometimes, when I can't bear his abuses, I feel like leaving. But then I think, who else will take care of him if not me? Every day I must give him greens, almonds and pistachios to increase his blood count. Who else will do this?"
"Did you ever feel like running away somewhere out of unbearable disgust and detachment?"
"I do feel like that... Hmm... Hmm... But then I fear and feel bad that I might bring disgrace to the family. Once I even asked dad if I should come back."
"What did he say?"
"He said, 'It's your wish, come back if you want, but think about this: your brothers or anyone else will take care of you only as long as I'm alive. Think about what happens after that.'"
"So, he meant none of us would take care of you?"
"Not like that, Naanna's words are also true, right? Why should I bring disgrace to Naanna who has such a good reputation?"
"Is reputation like a national flag, where we need to die wrapping that around protecting it? What reputation are we clinging to here?" "Everyone's lives are their own, everyone's problems are their own, there are no universal solutions for every problem. It's not about whether we will take care of you or not. It's about what you can do or do for yourself.
Now you have two paths ahead of you. One: Sacrifice your life like a devoted wife for your husband who is like a psycho abuser, clinging to illusions of reputation. Two: Decide that you've had enough of this marriage, pack your bags and leave."
"But he will die, poor thing."
"Oh! Is his name Mahatma? Or is he a saint unfortunately got this disease? He will die at some point, right? May be the pharmacological advances in science might delay the inevitable or he might survive as well when a drug is found to cure. I am not worried about all those. What I am really worry about here is, You.
Usually as parents and siblings when we are looking for a marriage alliance what we are more focused on is: Does the groom have the habit of drugs, cigarettes, poker, and street vendors? How much is his salary? How much money does he earn? How much is his property? How much is his debt? Howhandsome is he? How much credit does he have? Does he have any siblings or parents, no siblings the better! No one cares about his mental disorders and the psychotic behavior. It’s a collective failure of all of us for not getting a right man for you. Sorry.
The real disease in your man is not AIDS. The unlimited suspicion, the feeling of inferiority, and the sadistic devilishness that comes from these are the real diseases. Even if someone discovers an antidote to AIDS before your man dies, there is no guarantee that you will not die of his suffering in the meantime. You should have turned around and retaliated - and told him - you idiot! consider-it as a blessing that you are still him and still serving him- but if you torture me for no reason, I can't bear it. If you could honestly say that you would will kill him by mixing Endrin in rice, there is no guarantee that he will take it in the right context and do as you say. What if he being a prick there is no guarantee that with a razor blade, he would mix his blood with yours in uncontrolled anger? "Do you think you can stand on your own two feet now? You have a master's degree in hand, and you can find a job somewhere. There is no real need to do a job. But you must doit. It is a diversionary activity, and you need to have financial independence more than anything now, as Naanna said what if we are not going to look after you in the future. We never know right? It is useful to forget the wounds. Do not worry about Pandu, we will definitely take care of her."
What will Naanna say?"
"I know him better, when your future is at stake, he is not a coward to hang on to prestige through devilish social lenses. If you want to come, he won't tell you not to come, but I'll talk to Nanna anyway, don’t worry about it."
"Then what do you want me to do now?"
"Go Home! If you have the courage to tell him that you are leaving for good, do it! Otherwise come in the name of Pandu’sfunction. But when you come, don't forget the gold, jewelry, and more importantly your degree certificates, and marks memos."
"Okay! I'll leave, I'll come in the name of the function."
"Okay, then, I'll talk to Naanna in the meantime, okay?"
"Okay, Annayya BYE”
***End Credits***
Naanna fought tooth and nail to get her the divorce
Chinna got settled as teacher and happily in a live-in with a person of her choice
Pandu doing her first year of medicine
***The End ***
—this is fiction —
~EkaLustYaNaanna fought tooth and nail to get her the divorce
Chinna got settled as teacher and happily in a live-in with a person of her choice
Pandu doing her first year of medicine
***The End ***
—this is fiction —
22-APR-2025
Last edited:
