Homelander

People keep leaving.

And honestly? I’ve stopped being surprised. I don’t even get angry about it anymore. Just tired. Tired of watching connections fade, of trying to hold on to people who clearly don’t want to stay. It’s like no matter how good my intentions are, or how much I show up for others, they eventually just… drift away.

At some point, I stopped asking “why.” Stopped chasing explanations. Stopped waiting for closure. Because the truth is, most people won’t give you that. They’ll just go. Quietly. Like you were never anything at all.

So I’ve been learning how to let go. Not in some deep, spiritual, empowering way—just in a “this is life, and I don’t have the energy to keep hurting myself over it” kind of way. I let go because holding on started to hurt more than the loss itself.

Do I wish someone would stay? Of course. I'm human. I want to be chosen. I want to be fought for. But I’m not expecting it anymore. That expectation has disappointed me too many times.

Maybe

So today I thought, “Hey, let me try being totally honest with people. What could go wrong?”

Yeah. Everything. Everything could go wrong.

I told someone their playlist wasn’t really my vibe. Suddenly I’m “emotionally unavailable with poor taste.”
I admitted to my boss that I didn’t fully understand the meeting. Now I’m invited to five more meetings to “get clarity.”
Even told my cat he doesn’t pay rent—he looked me dead in the eyes and knocked a glass off the table. Respectfully.

So yeah. Honesty? Cool concept. Terrible in practice. I think I’ll go back to smiling politely and saying “hmm, interesting” while dying inside.

Hey people what's up?

Worked on my masterpiece so badly for days. Now just finished it
My fingers are hurting so much now

For real

Me:
"Wat you doin?"

Her:
" What's with the spelling and all. ..You don’t even speak or write properly."

Me:
"Ah........ a critique so vacuously pedantic it borders on performative scholasticism. Permit me to elucidate: my lexical economy, though antithetical to your prescriptive paradigms, is a conscious repudiation of syntactic elitism, not an index of intellectual insolvency...

Should your interpretive faculties be so hermetically sealed within the confines of antiquated grammatical orthodoxy that you conflate linguistic informality with cognitive deficiency, ,then I fear you’ve conflated decorum with depth...

Language, my dear interlocutor, is not a static relic but an evolving continuum,. a protean symphony of phonemes and semantics wielded by those unencumbered by pedantry. So I shall persist in articulating with calibrated chaos, unbothered by your fastidious fixation on orthographic purity...."

My message to some simps here
Bro.
Touch grass.
Reboot your self-worth.
Log out and look in the mirror until your dignity respawns.

Itna introvert hu..ki rishtedaar agar paise de to jhoota mna bhi nahi kr paata. chup chap rakh leta hu

Modern romance is just:
“wyd?”
“nm u?”
…dies quietly

( 1 )I walked again tonight.
By the river. You know the one — that bend where the trees lean like they're tired, like they've been waiting too long for someone who isn’t coming.

The moon was out. But it looked... off somehow. Dimmer. Like even she’s sick of watching me do this.
Same path. Same steps. Same ache.

I don’t know why I keep coming here.
Maybe I’m waiting for something. Or maybe I’m just stuck.

The river didn’t make a sound tonight. Just shimmered, all silver and still, like it was holding its breath. Or grieving. Maybe both.

And the breeze, god, it hit different. Cold, yeah, but it wasn’t just weather. It felt like a memory. Like your voice in winter. Faint. Gone before I could hold onto it.

( 2 )
I
I saw your reflection. Or I thought I did.
Right next to mine.
Just for a second. Long enough to remember too much.
Or maybe the river’s just playing tricks again.

They say it steals voices after midnight. I used to laugh at that. Now I don’t know.
Sometimes I think it’s true.
Sometimes I think it’s where all our words went. The ones we never said. The ones we said too late.

( 3 )
There’s this silence here that knows me now. It wraps around me like a blanket I didn’t ask for.
It sighs when I sigh.
And when I stop, it waits.
Like it wants me to speak first.

But what would I even say?

That I’m sorry? That I still carry you in everything?
That I hear your laugh in songs I don’t even like anymore?
That the moon still looks like it’s trying to remember your face?

Maybe none of that matters.

Maybe this river doesn’t care. Maybe it just listens. And keeps.

So yeah. I walked.
And yeah, I sighed.

And the wind?
It sighed back.
Like it knew.

Lately, I’ve been waking up with this odd feeling...like my spirit is stuck on a loading screen. Coffee tastes the same, playlists still hit, but something’s… pending.
It’s like my inner self is waiting for a firmware update that never downloads.
Anyone else riding that strange wave between “I’m fine” and “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore”?

i keep telling myself i’m fine. that i’m moving on. but honestly? i’m not.

some days i’m okay, other days i’m just trying to make it through without losing it.

and yeah, maybe i still check my phone more than i should. maybe i still hope for a message. i hate that, but it’s the truth.



i didn’t just lose a person. i lost my peace. my safe space. and now it’s just… noise.



anyway, just needed to get that out.

if you’re dealing with something like this too, yeah... i get it. it’s rough.

we’ll be alright though. eventually.

i had this dream where everything was okay again. like we never broke up. like none of the lies or drama ever happened. they were there. we were laughing. it felt... real. too real, honestly.

and for a second, i forgot everything. forgot the betrayal, the way things ended, all of it.
but then i woke up. and just laid there.
same room. same silence.
no texts. no calls. just me and the same heavy feeling that’s been there for weeks.

i don’t even know what hurts more anymore. the fact that they’re gone, or that my brain still tries to convince me they’re not.
it’s crazy how people can say they love you, talk about forever, and then switch up like you never meant anything.
like, how do you just forget someone like that?(Continue)

Hi