Homelander

Itna introvert hu..ki rishtedaar agar paise de to jhoota mna bhi nahi kr paata. chup chap rakh leta hu

Modern romance is just:
“wyd?”
“nm u?”
…dies quietly

( 1 )I walked again tonight.
By the river. You know the one — that bend where the trees lean like they're tired, like they've been waiting too long for someone who isn’t coming.

The moon was out. But it looked... off somehow. Dimmer. Like even she’s sick of watching me do this.
Same path. Same steps. Same ache.

I don’t know why I keep coming here.
Maybe I’m waiting for something. Or maybe I’m just stuck.

The river didn’t make a sound tonight. Just shimmered, all silver and still, like it was holding its breath. Or grieving. Maybe both.

And the breeze, god, it hit different. Cold, yeah, but it wasn’t just weather. It felt like a memory. Like your voice in winter. Faint. Gone before I could hold onto it.

( 2 )
I
I saw your reflection. Or I thought I did.
Right next to mine.
Just for a second. Long enough to remember too much.
Or maybe the river’s just playing tricks again.

They say it steals voices after midnight. I used to laugh at that. Now I don’t know.
Sometimes I think it’s true.
Sometimes I think it’s where all our words went. The ones we never said. The ones we said too late.

( 3 )
There’s this silence here that knows me now. It wraps around me like a blanket I didn’t ask for.
It sighs when I sigh.
And when I stop, it waits.
Like it wants me to speak first.

But what would I even say?

That I’m sorry? That I still carry you in everything?
That I hear your laugh in songs I don’t even like anymore?
That the moon still looks like it’s trying to remember your face?

Maybe none of that matters.

Maybe this river doesn’t care. Maybe it just listens. And keeps.

So yeah. I walked.
And yeah, I sighed.

And the wind?
It sighed back.
Like it knew.

Lately, I’ve been waking up with this odd feeling...like my spirit is stuck on a loading screen. Coffee tastes the same, playlists still hit, but something’s… pending.
It’s like my inner self is waiting for a firmware update that never downloads.
Anyone else riding that strange wave between “I’m fine” and “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore”?

i keep telling myself i’m fine. that i’m moving on. but honestly? i’m not.

some days i’m okay, other days i’m just trying to make it through without losing it.

and yeah, maybe i still check my phone more than i should. maybe i still hope for a message. i hate that, but it’s the truth.



i didn’t just lose a person. i lost my peace. my safe space. and now it’s just… noise.



anyway, just needed to get that out.

if you’re dealing with something like this too, yeah... i get it. it’s rough.

we’ll be alright though. eventually.

i had this dream where everything was okay again. like we never broke up. like none of the lies or drama ever happened. they were there. we were laughing. it felt... real. too real, honestly.

and for a second, i forgot everything. forgot the betrayal, the way things ended, all of it.
but then i woke up. and just laid there.
same room. same silence.
no texts. no calls. just me and the same heavy feeling that’s been there for weeks.

i don’t even know what hurts more anymore. the fact that they’re gone, or that my brain still tries to convince me they’re not.
it’s crazy how people can say they love you, talk about forever, and then switch up like you never meant anything.
like, how do you just forget someone like that?(Continue)

Hi